Slapstick is funny because most of us like to laugh at the absurdity of everyday mishaps-not malicious laughter, just good ol' guffaws. If the following account of my wardrobe malfunction gives you a chuckle, then I'm pleased.
Today I wore a comfortable pair of side zip capris to work. (First wrong move.) Side zip clothing is always a mistake. A mistake I find myself making far too often. I suppose I continue to err in this way because I like the slimming long line I achieve when wearing side zip clothing. But I digress-
After using the restroom at 10:30 this morning, I found that I could not pull my side zipper back up all the way. Nylon zippers are notorious for broken teeth and mutiple snags, not to mention difficult to maneuver because of the side position. I determined to pull harder. (Second wrong move.) The zipper pull came off in my hand! Now I have a zipper half-closed and no way to repair it. Fortunately, I was also wearing a vest that covered most of the offending clothing.
Realizing I had to return to the classroom posthaste, I tried not to think about how the 7th and 8th graders I work with might notice my condition. Everything was going fine until lunchtime. That's when I grasped the fact that I could not use the restroom for the rest of the day!
After work, I went to the library to return a book so that it wouldn't be counted as overdue. (Third wrong move.) It was too long since my last bathroom stop. As I rushed inside my house, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the desktop, intending to cut myself free of the offending clothing! The dogs were whining and scratching at the door because they like to be fed immediately upon my return home from work. The phone was ringing and now I have half a pair of capris!
Before today, I had originally intended to wear my other pair of side zip capris tomorrow-I've changed my mind.
